The Subways of Julie thought

  I’d like to preface the opening to this by saying that even though this is about the appropriation of queer culture im a white girl writing this, so  I would argue that both cishet men and women appropriate queer culture for their own purposes, and while they do it in different ways they both are attracted by the aesthetics, uniqueness and the community  of being queer  I think cishet men like to take our struggle and our “punk”ness, the “rough around the edges” feeling, they want to have some reason to feel outcast and alternative and make artwork thats “like.. so deep dude, its really like…real,” and wearing Keith haring t shirts while doing so. I’ve touched on this briefly in the past but it makes me so incredibly enraged at how haring and his art has been treated. They want to feel this idea of an artistic rebellion, but dont want to include anyone who makes them acknowledge their privilege. They all want to feel like theyre banding together, living life on the edge getting pierc

  I assume that most people who read my blog understand most trans stuff and so the concept of HRT would make sense to them, but in case it’s unclear, HRT stands for Hormone replacement therapy and essentially I take an anti-androgen (testosterone blocker) and an estrogen prescription to transition medically. I’ve been on E for a year as of today and I want to make this post to detail my experiences of it especially because for both trans and cis people alike it is so shrouded in mystery. Being AMAB (assigned male at birth) and developing a lot of the female secondary sex characteristics ( softer skin less body hair, some hip bone growth/ fat redistribution  and most significantly the breast growth.)  is weird. Obviously im well aware of the permanence of transitioning medically, but noticing these changes on my body is odd, almost making me feel like I’m ‘‘supposed’’ to have a male body and as though my brain is still perceiving myself as male? It’s a really weird feeling thats only m

  As much as i despise this idea that anyone is “socialized male” because it is weird and implies trans women are still men inside, i think there is a sort of line of reasoning that your brain takes when it comes to trans people doing things that society had told them all throughout their childhood was weird For me personally makeup is mostly where i revert back to this psychological mindset of a 12 year old boy and understanding the why and overcoming it is really what im trying to focus on. Essentially a few months back a friend and i were hanging out and she has her makeup bag and she starts putting mascara on and i make a small comment leading her to ask about if i want to try it and ultimately it leads to this scenario where she’s insisting I put it on and I feel so tempted by it and im not quire scared or uncomfortable, but its like that feeling you get when you’re on, or are about to ride a rollercoaster. Eventually she puts it on and we actually go to a Sephora where I try on e